


Resignation and Hope

by intheheart



Series: Nirwen Lavellan [7]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Friendship, Gen, LGBTQ Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intheheart/pseuds/intheheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking place after Dorian's personal quest, "Last Resort of Good Men", this features my Inquisitor and Dorian talking on the way back to Skyhold (whereas the after scene takes place in-game when they are back, so I've taken some liberties.) She feels a little guilty and wonders if he'll be okay, and shares something from her own life that ultimately strengthens their friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resignation and Hope

In the carriage back from Redcliffe, Nirwen broke the silence. She chose to ride with Dorian in the so they could talk, leaving the others to their mounts. Dorian spat out the depth of his pain before Nirwen and his father, revealing that planned-out Tevinter bloodlines and familial expectations taking precedence over the life and desires of the man she knew, traveled with, and considered a friend. She took her leave after things settled enough that father and son agreed to talk to one another again. Now, they were on their way back to Skyhold. Not telling him of the letter that arrived bothered her, and his silence, despite the apparent peaceful end to the afternoon's meeting, only raised questions in her mind. Would he be all right?

Traces of guilt still stirred up within. “Dorian, I apologize for the lie. I thought there was a chance to set things right, but wasn't certain you'd come. I should've trusted you,” she said, though she sensed that his proud anger might have indeed prevented the detente newly formed between father and son. Dorian produced a flask, took a sip, and passed it to her. The contents were all sweet warmth. Brandy.

He drew a longer swallow and said, “If you had, I would've bet good coin on a Venatori plot, but seems you shan't be rid of me that easily.”

She took his hand and brought her gaze to his, adding a soft smile and a slightly anxious laugh.

“I...may understand a bit more than you know,” began Nirwen, “When I was sixteen, I realized that the worry I felt for my training partner, Nehn when we hunted, the way I wanted to spend more time with her, to unbraid her hair and let it fall all around onto her shoulders –I realized this was what love felt like. _We_ realized it, and went on to share nearly six years together.”

“And here, I thought our Inquisitor only had eyes for bald apostates,” he said, jovially, as he returned a warm, exhausted smile.

A blush crept into her face at this, but she ignored it. Dorian's hand left hers and he placed an arm around her as she continued her tale. She waved away more brandy, but he continued to avail himself of what remained in the flask.

“Now, the Dalish, as proud as we are, my clan didn't really have anything against this, exactly. There was some doubt among some of our leaders as to our continued partnership as hunters, but we worked so well together they couldn't really deny us. Even after....after we parted, we continued to work as a team, defying their doubts that romance would create weakness or tension. Up until my duties drew me south, to here, we hunted together. She's happy with another now. Halina.”

“My family never treated Nehn wrong, or condescended. She was like their third daughter. And I'd like to believe that if we hadn't ended things, they would've seen me happy. But I've also loved men, and the difference in others, the sting, is so subtle, like a pinprick, but it aches regardless.”

“Although we never ran into hostility or opposition in any formal sense, pride found a way. We Dalish, well, we protect certain knowledge, customs, ways of life. Our numbers are not well known. We move around, keep stringent order. And since it takes elves to, well to make more elves, finding love with one you could not continue a line, well, there was a notion almost of 'wasted resources'. It was nothing overt, we were accepted, but those hints of resignation never quite left. Acceptance, even grace, kindness, while still being considered as a bit of a lost cause; something that just happened. It's the opposite of a rejection, and yet, it's like failing to live up to expectations without there being expectations. Baffling, “ she smiled,” for a people with such rules. Yet, everyone knows them anyhow, and no one believes they have two faces, or voices, on the matter.”

“I only knew where my heart led.” Nirwen sighed wistfully.

“As you follow it now, still, ”replied Dorian, softly. “Thank you, Inquisitor, he began, waving off any guilt. "You tried to help, and have proven yourself a friend through more than just this. Though you may not want to let that get out. They might question your respectability.”

“Call me Nirwen. I'm still Nirwen. Dorian, I still feel bad for lying, even by omission, but I am glad you gave your father the chance to speak. Is there hope for more?”

“Am I utterly talented and charming?” He took another sip of the brandy, then drained the flask in one go. Nirwen sat back quietly. Dorian would speak more of it when he was ready. For a few moments, she thought of her family, attempting not to miss them as much as she did.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My Inquisitor, Nirwen Lavellan, is bisexual. More of how she and Nehn trained and had their first kiss is in my other work, Finding Shelter.
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/3772495


End file.
